We will all face at some point in our lives difficulties in our relationships, whether these are relationships with friends, coworkers, romantic partners or our family of origin. The way we perceive and deal with these challenges has been linked by attachment theory to our earlier relational contexts, the relationships within our family. We might find it hard to deal with conflict, express emotions, set and maintain boundaries and we might hold onto what we call core believes regarding relationships and what we think to be deserving of when it comes to love and closeness.

These core beliefs are the basis of our personal set of rules and expectations, our patterns, what might feel like the unavoidable outcome of our lives. Translated into what happens in relationships, they might look like communication problems, trust issues, difficulty establishing and maintaining emotional and physical intimacy, difficulty solving conflicts in a healthy or productive way, avoidance, withdrawal, difficulty managing emotions, codependency, power struggles.

Therapy can be a helpful tool in addressing some of these concerns and helping you identify what needs to change or what parts of you need to heal in order to have healthier relationships. Self-awareness is the begging of the process. Identifying whether feeling unsettled in a relationship belongs to the here and now or it is related to a past traumatic or unresolved experience will help you begin and deepen the process of attending to these relational challenges. 

While setting boundaries and building emotional regulations skills along with awareness and greater understanding of our relational context may be the first layer of change, therapy invites to a deeper change which will create a stronger and more integrated self. That means rewriting or developing your own philosophy of what it means to be with others. It is an invitation to healthier and more fulfilling relationships.